Thursday, 19 January 2012

13 Questions, I thought you would not ask during sex

1. May I have some more wine?
2. Where are my clothes?
3. You want it where?
4. Is it stuck?
5. Can we put the dog out first?
6. You know that is attached, right?
7. Who told you 'eat it' was literal?
8. Could we do some more shots before we do that?
9. Do you realize that there is difference between licking and slobbering?
10. Did you hear me when I told you not to spank?
11. You read that, where?
12. Do I look like I am enjoying this?
13. Do you honestly believe I am able to bend that way?

GEJ gives IG of Police 24hrs to produce Christmas Day bomber


                                          Zakari Biu                              Hafiz Ringim

President Goodluck Jonathan yesterday gave the Inspector-General of Police, Hafiz Ringim, 24 hours to produce Christmas Day bomber and Boko Haram member, Madala Kabiru Sokoto, who the police claim escaped while he was being led to his residence in Abaji, or face the consequences.

The commissioner of police, Zakari Biu, was suspended by the IG following the escape and GEJ's 24hr deadline ends today. Let's wait and see what happens if the escapee is not found

It's twice the music and suspense as the race to make $100k prize intensifies on Nigerian Idol


                NI hosts - IllRhymz and Tiwa Savage                                  NI contestant - Ibinabo Romeo

With only ten performances to go in the Nigerian Idol top 30, the fight for the next three who will make it to the top 10 has hit fever pitch. The top three votes for the second set of ten will be announced on Friday while on Sunday, Nigerian Idol viewers and fans will watch the final set of ten perform for the three more slots in the top 10. 


 
“It is definitely set to be an action packed week on Nigerian Idol,” Tiwa Medubi who is Project Manager said. “The next set of ten performers have been working hard all week and are impatient to show Nigerians what they have been working on. Viewers will also find out early this weekend which three of them will be moving on to the top ten.” She added.


According to www.nigerianidol.com, the popular show extended the voting lines for an extra week, but would be back with its spectacular presentation of music and amazing performances this weekend. This weekend, audiences will be introduced to the final set of 10 who will try to impress the viewers with their performances in order to make it into the top 10 on the show. The three contestants with the highest votes will then move onto the top 10 stage next weekend bringing the total number of contestants in the top ten to nine. A wild card performance will follow next weekend some of the best performers in the top 30 group will sing for the last spot on the top ten stage. Already fans and viewers of the show have been voting massively for their favourites.


The contest moves on steadily, climaxing at a grand gala in April 1, when a new Nigerian Idol will be announced. The next Nigerian Idol wins an SUV and a grand prize valued at $100,000, which covers a recording contract and management contract. Everybody is also a winner on the show, as all the top 10 finalists will be going home with mouth-watering prizes. The next Nigerian Idol would follow the footsteps of Idol alumni like Yeka Onka, Timi Dakolo and Fantasia who have achieved global recognition on the Idol platform.


Nigerian Idol is proudly brought to you by Etisalat in association with Pepsi and Sony. It is supported by Air Nigeria, Kentucky Fried Chicken and Megalectrics (owners of Beat FM, Classic FM and Naija FM).

Friday, 6 January 2012

EXCLUSIVE! THE HILARIOUS WORLD OF NOLLYWOOD COMEDIAN, MR. IBU – HOW HE ESCAPED POVERTY TO BECOME NOLLYWOOD’S TOP ACTOR PLUS – THE DARK DAYS WHEN HIS WIFE WAS KIDNAPPED

e has been for the past four years, the most popular and dominant Nollywood actor in the comedic genre. His manner of speech, body language and gesticulations are guaranteed to send you reeling with laughter. Any movie he is featured is guaranteed to become a hit – especially with those who love comedy. Who would forget his spectacular performance alongside the queen of comedy – Funke Jenifa Akindle in this year’s hit movie – Sheri-Koko – a performance that many have confessed made them see that movie several times over? – That John Okafor, alias Mr. Ibu is the most hilarious and rib-cracking actor today in Nollywood is no longer in dispute – he, as a matter of fact, owns that genre.

Last summer, Mr. Ibu was made to endure a nightmarish situation, which one would not even wish upon his or her worst enemy – the kidnap of one’s spouse and the wickedness and meanness of the captors, who daily would tell you the countdown to one’s spouse’s death is on and if the ransom was not paid – in the exact amount and on time. Mr. Ibu’s wife was kidnapped and held hostage for almost two weeks. “Those two weeks were the most harrowing time of my life and I still shudder in fear when I remember what we, as a family went through.” Mr. Ibu had told me as we sat at Nanet Suites Nollywood Lounge in Abuja for a breakfast meeting, during my last month’s visit to Nigeria.

                                                 John Okafor – Mr. Ibu with his wife

That Mr. Ibu is today a celebrated and hugely popular Nollywood actor was not an enterprise that came to him on a platter of gold. He, as he confided exclusively to me was “exceedingly poor – so poor that feeding was a problem. I didn’t come from privileged background – I was born into a most humble background where the basic things of life were huge luxuries. I lost my father when I was very young, and my mother, who before the death of my father was a housewife, had to now cater and fend for me and my siblings. It was not easy, but we survived – aided by our deep faith in God and in His capacity to make the impossible seem possible. These days, when I look at my circumstance – the blessings I have been privileged by God to possess, the material comforts I have been blessed with, I am sometimes drawn to tears. I just came back from a tour of Europe, where thousands of people paid their hard-earned money to see me, where people cried with laughter when I opened my mouth to speak, and I couldn’t help but be moved by what God has turned my life into – the gift of laughter I have been able to bless people with. It is amazing what God can do.”
Mr. Ibu recalled that it was that value of laugher that helped keep his family grounded when things were rough – very, very rough “I remember making my mother laugh even when we didn’t know where the next meal was going to come from – when the pangs of hunger had carved out some marks on our faces and I would constantly tell her it would be okay – as long as God gave me the gift of making people to laugh.” Mr. Ibu recalled that it was the 70s comedy sitcom – Hotel De Jordan that he first was able to showcase his talents as a comedian. “That program was very popular and I cut my teeth there. I was just too happy to have been given a role – that I didn’t ask to be paid – all I wanted, was for the world to know I could make people laugh” he had told me. From a stint on Hotel De Jordan, and a cameo appearance on the Nollywood’s classic – Living in Bondage – the first ever Nollywood move in 1992, Mr. Ibu gradually worked his way into the industry – ebbing and flowing and eventually becoming the very definition of the industry’s comedic genre he has become today –with the accompanying trappings of success and adulation from millions of fans all over the world.



Success as they say brings with it, multiple friends and multiple enemies and Mr. Ibu has experienced both extremes. Last summer, his wife was kidnapped by people who thought he had lots of money and wanted him to part with the wealth in the form of ransom. “It has remained the most painful and harrowing period of our lives. Can you imagine your wife – your dear wife whom you look forward to seeing, holding and cradling after a hard day on set to be kidnapped and taken away from you by men who may not wish her any good. Can you imagine hearing your wife writhe in pain and the heartless kidnappers make her talk to you in her distressed state that she would be killed if the ransom demanded were not paid and on time. I am still at a loss as to why the kidnappers thought I had all the money in this world – so much so that they had to kidnap my wife. I had told them not to buy into the world of make-believe, that I didn’t have the kind of money they had demanded. When I tried to jokingly tell them to keep my wife as their trophy since there was no way in the whole wide world that I could come up with the ransom they had requested, they told me my wife had hours to live. My brother it was harrowing. For almost two weeks, they kept my wife in their custody while we struggled to arrange for money to give to them.”




Mr. Ibu said he thought he was going to be killed when he went to give them the money. “Part of their demand was that the ransom had to be paid by no one else but me – so I had no choice but to go the den of death. As I drove to the spot they asked me to drop off the money, I was filled with conflicting emotions: what if they had already killed my wife, and now wanted to kill me as well? What would happen to our young children? Who would take care of them? I remember a voice commanding me to turn right, face the opposite direction. While these commands lasted, I didn’t see the person who barked them out, how they knew where I was remains a mystery till today. It was like a scene taken out of a Nollywood movie. Clutching the bag filled with the ransom, I remember walking a few feet and making another sharp left only to behold an old woman walking gingerly toward me. The voice of the unseen man now directed me to drop off the money and to walk half a kilometer away, which I did, and there drained and traumatized, I saw my dear wife and we hugged and I drove her home.”
Asked if he is angry with the system for what had befallen him, Mr. Ibu said, “Well it is difficult not to be angry, but government alone can’t completely provide security for everyone, I think what government can do, is to try and create opportunities for the mass of young men and women to be productively engaged – that way the resort to morally objectionable ways of making money such as kidnapping will no longer become an attractive proposition.” Asked how his wife is copping Mr. Ibu said “she is doing well as can be! She is of course still traumatized by the experienced as anyone would. The love we have for each other and that of our children and friends has been immensely helpful – she is recovering and will be fine.”
Mr. Ibu advised married people to “stay off social media if you want your marriage to succeed. Social media is killing a lot of marriages – Blackberry’s BB, Twitter and Face book. The amount of unwanted solicitations people receive on a daily basis – it is crazy. Even though we need these tools, but they are very destructive. The envelope on morality has been pushed and it is affecting the fabric of marriages.”



 
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